Choices

When I was pregnant, I did not want to find out the gender of the babies until their birth. A lab tech who called with amnio results spoiled the surprise with our first born, but we were so excited to know that it was a he that we weren't too annoyed. The second and third times around we declined all of the tests that I was told to have, and were very specific during ultrasounds that we did not wish to know the sex. The strong reactions to our decision not to find out was quite astounding.

People who disagreed made comments such as "I'm too much of a Type A not to know". Translated that means, "I like to plan and control everything, clearly you don't." Anyone who knows me would have to laugh because I am also a Type A control freak, but one who prefers to be surprised when it comes to big things. I also love the colors green and yellow on babies and therefore don't mind not buying pink or blue everything before they are born. A few family members told me that it wasn't fair to them not to find out, as if it is at all about them. The thing about this that I find irritating is, there's no way to answer these questions without seeming defensive and/or putting down the other person's choice to find out.

Those who agreed would say things like "You're doing it the right way." or "There are so few surprises in life, this is one worth waiting for." Even the labor and delivery nurses said that it's very rare anymore that their patients don't know the sex, which honestly, I think is sad. With our second son, a full minute passed before we were told we had a boy since everyone in the room assumed we already knew.

Also, we prefer not to tell anyone what our name choices are while I'm pregnant. We don't want to listen to people tell us a zillion reasons why Eunice is not a nice name when we love it. We also don't want people calling our unborn baby by its name before its born. We want to welcome him or her into the world by calling him/her by name. Just a quirk that we both possess, I guess.

While I am always happy to hear that a new baby has been born, I am infinitely more excited to pick up the phone with anticipation, not knowing whether it's a boy or girl or what the name will be. If only I could convince everyone else to adopt my viewpoints. Yes, I'm kidding. Sort of.